Blue Soup

I had sort of forgotten I even had a blog, so I would be surprised if anyone else remembers.

If you are reading this, it’s pretty Debby Downer, so proceed at your own risk.  Only five more days of this crappy year.  2010 is going to be the Year of Marty, I can feel it.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

• Got pregnant
• Miscarried
• Had surgery

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

No.  I don’t even remember what they were.

Okay, I went back and looked.  No, I definitely did not keep any of those, except maybe the first, to a degree.

I won’t be making any for next year.  I can’t think of anything (within my control, anyway) that I would like to change about my life.  Any successful resolutions I’ve ever made (losing weight, quitting smoking) were things I’d wanted to do, thought a lot about, and finally kicked into gear on a January 1st.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Katie did!  Her daughter Lily is adorable and I’m so happy for her.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My friend Amy’s boyfriend died.  That was very shocking and sad.

And three of my unborn embryos/fetuses, if that counts.

5. What countries did you visit?

No foreign countries this year, unfortunately.  I had one staycation in May with my BFFs Tracy and Erin (yay!), and one road trip to Gatlinburg with the family.  Oh, and we went to Dallas to decide if we wanted to move there.  (The answer on that?  Pretty much a thumbs down.)  This year didn’t have a lot of travel.

2010 is looking much more promising in the countries department, though, with a trip to the Dominican Republic planned for March and a Mexico bachelorette trip on the horizon for April.  Yay!

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Same answer as last year.  A baby.

Though, actually, I’m going to change that answer.  I just want to be a parent.  I don’t have to have a baby, but I want to be on a path to becoming a parent, however that happens.  Successful pregnancy, adoption, foster care, whatever.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 9th, the day I found out I was pregnant for the first time, completely unexpectedly.  God, I was so happy that day.  It makes me both happy and sad to think back on it.

January 29th, the day we found out baby #1 wasn’t viable.  February 5th, the day of my D&C.

May 14th, the day Rob got laid off.

August 24th, the day I found out I was pregnant for the third time.

November 13th, the day I found out baby #3 had no heartbeat at 15 weeks.  November 17th, the day of my D&E.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Not totally losing it over the miscarriages.  Growing a stronger marriage as a result of getting through it.  Getting our finances under as much control as possible.  Learning to live with the uncertainty of our finances and not allowing it to drive me crazy.

9. What was your biggest failure?

My body failed me and my unborn embryos/fetuses.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not other than the miscarriages.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

New clothes that fit.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone that I know for being totally awesome when I felt like things were never going to be okay again. Rob, for being the best, most supportive husband ever.  My parents.  My friends.  My manager at work.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I can’t think of anyone is particular.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Mortgage payments.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Having a baby.  This questionaire is really depressing.  Sorry.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

I can’t think of any.   See answer to number 25.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?  Sadder
b) thinner or fatter?  Fatter
c) richer or poorer?  Poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing and yoga.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With my parents, brother, husband, and dogs (FIVE DOGS) in Wisconsin.  (We still only have three dogs.  We were dog-sitting two of them for friends.)

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Yes, with our new (adopted!) dog Micah.  We fostered him after he was rescued from a puppy mill in Missouri.  He is the cutest, sweetest little turd ever (excepting our other dogs, of course) and I totally fell in love with him.

And I fell more in love with my former beyonce.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Dexter, though I am a season behind (watching on DVD) since we don’t have Showtime.  I love that show and think it gets better every season.  I also liked True Blood and Mad Men and thought that Top Chef and Survivor were particularly good this fall.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

My new (and now former) OB/GYN.  No, I don’t hate her.  OK, yes I do.  Well, maybe not hate, but there is definitely a simmering ball of rage, justified or not.

24. What was the best book you read?

I can never pick one.  Top three would be The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Weight of Heaven, and The Hunger Games.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I … kept listening to all the same music that I have for years.  I think I stopped discovering new music when I stopped driving regularly and therefore stopped listening to the radio regularly.  Although, now when I do drive, I listen to NPR anyway, so I’m probably just getting old.

26. What did you want and get?

A promotion.  Love, friendship, and support.  And to have a Boston roommate reunion for the first time since my wedding!

27. What did you want and not get?

I think we all know the answer this, right?

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

New Moon!  Just kidding, though that was my favorite awesomely bad movie.

It’s hard to pick one since I can’t even remember everything I saw, but I’ll say Star Trek.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32, and I was surprised with an awesome birthday dinner at Mia Francesca.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having had one of the three pregnancies made it.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

If it’s a work day, black pants; if it’s a weekend, jeans or jean skirt.

Actually, that’s not true, I wore a lot of dresses in the summer.  But lately that has been my look.  I either need to lose about 5 pounds or buy some new pants and skirts.  I’m going to give myself a few months of eating healthy and running again, and if that doesn’t work out, go shopping.

32. What kept you sane?

Same answer as last year.  My husband, my friends, my parents, my animals, my wine and my books.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Dude, have you guys seen the Vampire Diaries?  Why did no one tell me about this show?  Ian Somerhalder OMFG.

Though this fancying has really only occupied the last week or so, since I started watching the show.  I can’t think of anyone else, though.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Health care – specifically the Stupak amendment – but not really.  Mostly I was too obsessed with myself to care about politics.  Marty FTW!

35. Who did you miss?

Tracy and Erin.  My parents.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Shit, did I meet any new people?  Um, do babies count?  I’ll say Lily, Katie’s daughter.  Saved by the baby!

Maybe that should be a challenge to myself for 2010 – to make a new friend.  It’s kind of hard to do when you’re out of college and have worked at the same place for nine years.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

I don’t think I learned any “life lessons” that can be summed up in a few sentences without sounding sappy and/or cheesy.  I don’t like this question.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Again, not really all that into music.  Perhaps it would be more appropriate for me to quote an NPR story that sums up my year?